Tuesday, March 2, 2010

ED Lesson #1


Just because the patient looks like a woman and speaks like a woman does not mean she is a woman. If there is a penis, she is a he.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

My First Dead Body - A New Nurse's Perspective

I had only logged in 13 hours before I experienced death in the Emergency Department.

It was halfway through my second shift when Rescue 3 called in a full arrest. It had been exceptionally quiet all morning. Jose said snowstorms keep the crazies and the hypochondriacs home. He said, "Only the sick of the sick come out in this weather."

We gather in the room to wait. Every one looking across at each other, silently shifting in place. Someone cracks a joke as a sort of tension reliever and a few brave people giggle. And then in the distance, you hear the sirens go silent and you know they are almost here and within seconds, doors are slamming open and voices are getting louder and wheels are rattling and you hear a thud squeak thud squeak and it isn't until they round the corner that you realize the thud squeak is the sound of a Paramedic performing CPR....halfheartedly. Because she was a goner from the get go but he needed the doc to make the call. Everyone is talking at once but they all seem to hear only the voice that shares the information they need to know. CPR stops and everyone clears the bed as the monitor leads are read one by one. Just to be sure. Asystole. Goodbye. Goodnight.

And suddenly everyone is gone except me and 2 other nurses. And I am pulling off her urine soaked underwear and dirty white socks. I'm trying to cover up the body bag lying beneath her so her family doesn't see it. I'm picking snot off her nose and wiping vomit off her cheeks and neck. I'm trying to do it as lovingly as possible because that is what they taught me in nursing school. And I notice her face looks puffy, as if it exploded into itself. Like her soul decided to leave this world right through the center of her face. It looks like death hurts even though people tell me its peaceful. The other 2 nurses leave and I look over her body one last time. I turn the lights off so only the soft grey glow from the wintry windows illuminate the room. I pull the curtain closed. Goodbye. Goodnight.

I glance at my coworkers gathered at the nurses station. They are talking about the patient in the next room, the one with the chest pain, the one with the pelvic pain, the one with the runny nose. Someone is calling the Coroner and someone next to her is talking to her daughter about the snowman they plan to make after shift. I round the corner to the break room and I sit down. I click on the Winter Olympics and eat my bowl of soup. Seafood bisque because it's Friday. And it's Lent. And life goes on.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Borientation

Orientation. is. boring.

It's even worse when you are sick and your nose won't stop dripping. Ever. Seriously. I have the most annoying cold to ever grace me with it's presence. My post nasal drip was running at a rate of 233 gtts/min. I sat in a back corner seat with a giant box of Kleenex, some vaseline for my chapped nares, a bottle of hand sanitizer, various boxes of cold remedies, and a paper bag for my refuge. If it wasn't against social norms, I would have balled up the Kleenex and shoved two wads up my nose. I apologized profusely to my orientation-mates and tried to stay clear of shared pens/pencils, door knobs, and personal space.

So far in orientation, we've covered....um. Yea. I think most of my cold medications had antihistamine in them so everything is a little foggy. I did give a group presentation on hospital initiatives. I'm almost certain I did. It had something to do with MI's. Guess I will be reading my RN handbook this weekend.

This week is all classroom, computer education type learning. Next week we have our new graduate nurse skills classes and then I am set loose in the ED with a Preceptor. I'm actually getting more and more excited as the week goes on. Mostly because I am not doing such a terrible job during critical thinking scenarios.

Like, I think I just might be able to do this job.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What Did I Get Myself Into?

The other day, a friend said, "Congrats on passing boards, Stretch! The hard part is over!" I didn't want to tell her that the hard part was just begining...only because she hasn't taken boards yet and I didn't want to poo poo her feelings.

The honest-swear-to-God-truth is....I am absolutely terrified to be an RN.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Surprise

Yesterday afternoon, I grabbed the mail and much to my delight, a large manila envelope from the board of nursing was sitting amongst the bills. I opened it and found my license and a congratulatory letter enclosed. I knew I had a "license" but I didn't realize the board was actually going to send me one. My husband asked if he could take it to work and photo copy it just in case my employer needs a copy. I said sure why not. Free copy is good copy.

This morning, I rolled over in bed to say good morning and Hubster smiled and handed me a... picture frame? Still groggy and sleepy eyed, I stared at it for a minute before I registered what it was. A framed copy of my license! And a card congratulating me with a lovely mushy message written inside. He had gone out after work last night....at 1am to get it framed.

I have the best husband.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The waiting was the hardest part

Today, I logged onto my state's board of nursing website and looked up my name and got the results of my NCLEX. And then I promptly threw up.

I passed!

Now I have to be a big girl and like...try not to accidentally kill people.

Friday, January 29, 2010

NCLEX


In just a few days I will be taking THE BIGGEST EXAM OF MY LIFE.

I feel like I have done all I can to prepare for this and I know when I walk out of the exam, I'll feel as if I could have never prepared enough. It's a frustrating feeling but someway, somehow I've managed to go deep within the bowels of my soul to a calm place that is unfamilar to me.

A year ago, if I felt like I do today, I would have been worrying about my lack of worry. I would have said, "Self! Stop this. You are too confident and calm about this. You'll jinx it!" But after crawling my way through nursing school, I've learned a thing or two or hundred about myself. One being, I am a better test taker when I am calm and not freaking out. And right now, I need to be the BEST test taker I can be.
To prepare for THE BIGGEST EXAM OF MY LIFE, I have done nothing but practice practice practice....and read the book pictured above.
I pray it's enough to pass...the first time.